Subtle Therapy

I feel suffocated by my inability to shut my brain off, like trying to get yourself to fall asleep where the more you think about it, the harder it gets. The counterproductive process of actively thinking about thinking less. Constantly reminding myself to mentally 'reset' or else risk losing control.

Bouncing between endless ideas and thoughts, falling into hyperactive rabbit holes. Either exhausted by trying to stay focused on one thing while unable to stop thinking of other things, or by overthinking one thing until I’ve reached my absolute limits, ignoring all of my often more important priorities. Neurotically hardwired to reality, getting to the bottom of every train of thought. Like trying to take a dog, much stronger than you, out for a walk – tightly gripping to its leash with both hands, praying you don’t come across any squirrels. And this past year has deeply exposed the weakness of my grip.

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Tight Fever is a an exercise in unleashing, letting everything spill, while trying to balance my grounded urge for total control. I’ve always found escape in improvisation, I do best when unpreoccupied with curbing what comes out of me. Free to explore but structured, in a way that only digital art allows, being able to quickly erase and redraw, experiment, uncommitted, micromanaging every pixel.

A practice of spontaneity and composition. Shapes, symbols, ideas, extracting and organizing them all in a way that I hardly ever manage to do myself inside my own head. A compromise between organic flow and careful intent, busy minimalism. Extremely contained freestyle doodling.

Blueprints to different corners of my mind.